Tips to Ace Your Second Date

So you have wangled that crucial second date which could break your single streak. This could be your ticket to coupledom so a little bit of preparation could come in handy. The first date has given you the bare essentials. You already have some idea about what kind of person he/she is, what he/she likes, now all you have to do is put that knowledge to good use. Here are ten tips to get you on your way:

Change the scenery.

If the venue of the date hasn’t been decided then try and pick a place both of you will enjoy. Your last date should have given you an idea of what he/she might like. Pick a place that has soft music where you get a chance to talk. If both of you like the outdoors pack a picnic lunch or if hiking is your thing, then go hiking. Try and avoid going for a movie. Movie doesn’t allow you to talk and you need to talk to see if this will work out for both of you.

Presentation.

No matter how delicious the dish, unless it is presented well it won’t have many takers. However crass that may sound, it is a truth to be faced. So make sure you are dressed appropriately. Take the venue in consideration: a tux may not be a good idea for a hike. Try and avoid flashy clothes and new shoes. Save that new halter-top and Manolo Blahniks for a special occasion. Dress like a smart sophisticated woman and you will be treated like one. Try and be comfortable and stylish at the same time.

Appropriate greeting.

So the last good night kiss was amazing, you did the whole 90 – 10 Hitch thing and it worked. But it’s a new day and what was okay then might be totally inappropriate now. Try a peck on the cheek rather than a full-blown smooch. Try not to linger in the other person’s personal space. It shows a lack of respect that is bound to cheese him/her off.

Concentrate on the conversation.

Most people look for meaningful conversations in a relationship. So it would be a good idea to concentrate on the conversation and discover a bit more about each other to see if a relationship would work. Compatibility is paramount when you are looking for more than just a quick roll in the hay. Talk about each other. Let him/her know a little more about you and learn a little more about them. The whole purpose of the second date is to move away from superficiality and dig deeper to find substance. While talking about yourself don’t over obsess your faults and don’t tom-tom your achievements – subtlety is the key.

Arrive relaxed and confident.

Your first date may have been a disaster but the fact that you got a second chance proves it might not have been all that bad. No point in over analysing what went wrong last time. Even if it was a perfect first date prepare for the second date before hand - take a long luxurious bath or a short nap. Arrive feeling relaxed and looking like a million bucks. A positive vibe will create positive energy and set the mood for the date.

Don’t open the eXbox.

Many a fledgling relationship has been ruined with the mention of the ex on the second date. You might have pent up anger and unresolved issues with the ex that you obsess over with your friends but it would be a good idea to wait a while before opening up the eXbox on your second date. It might portray you in an unflattering light - petty, mean, helpless, insecure, boring, nagging, and undesirable - take your pick. Save the eXfile for your shrink.

Compliment.

Most women can spot an insincere compliment from miles away so make sure if you are paying her a compliment it is genuine. Also try and avoid the clichéd ones. Pick a not so obvious trait that you like about her and use it for a compliment. Men prefer compliments about their actions rather than their looks. If he let an old lady cut in to the queue let him know you thought that was sweet. A compliment allows people to let down their guard. Appreciate the small quirks that make people unique. Wouldn’t you like the person who likes the way your smile lights up your eyes?

God lies in details.

Everyone likes talking about him or herself, that’s a subject that everyone has mastered. So remember something that your date told you about him/her self last time and start the conversation with that as your opener i.e. his high school basketball injury or her favourite movie.

Stay in the moment.

Even if you really like your date don’t start imagining the colour of the station wagon you are going to buy when you have kids, don’t even start naming the kids or hearing the wedding bells. It’s just the second date. For all you know he/she may be a psycho stalker. When you build castles in the air they are bound to come crashing down for the lack of a proper foundation. Don’t expect or introspect - stay in the moment and enjoy yourself.

Read the signs.

Body language is a language you need to master. If you are rambling on about a subject that doesn’t interest your date, their eyes may wander. Switch to a different topic to maintain the interest. If he/she leans in close or toys with his/her hair, fiddle with the keys, he/she is sending you a signal, it’s up to you to pick it up. Correct interpretation is almost like mind reading and can get you extra brownie points.

Two way street.

The date is not only about impressing someone else it is also about being impressed. If it becomes a one-way street, someone is bound to get hurt. Make sure that you aren’t doing all the work; allow your date to pitch in and then see if the sparks fly.

Be yourself.

Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. Don’t lie, if you don’t want to tell the truth don’t saying anything at all. “I’d rather not talk about it”, is a better option than lying. Don’t do or say anything you are not comfortable with and don’t play games. The best relationships are those in which you are yourself.



Good luck!