i guess the title saysit all - but if you need more convincing .. check out the link below
http://specials.rediff.com/getahead/2007/oct/17gauri.htm
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Dummies guide to women
The fairer sex has always been a mystery to men. And although it is interesting to see men flounder while trying to establish a relationship of any sort, I thought it would be nice this week to give all you guys out there a little heads up on what the world of women is like.
Women always have the last word in an argument, even when you think you had the last word listen to the deafening silence to understand that she did indeed have the last word.
To women, talking is like breathing. They are extremely bad secret keepers and need to share a secret you told them to just one more person who has been sworn to secrecy as well. So if Saddam wanted the world to know he had no WMD all he had to do was tell Mrs. Hussein and the chain would have reached Laura and then finally good ol’ Dubya would have known what the world already did.
Women are walking talking lie detectors; we can detect insincerity in thoughts, actions or gestures as well. We just pretend not to notice to avoid conflict.
Women need at least two hours to dress up for a two hour movie, even though they know its going to be dark in the theatre. Five minutes in a woman’s world is equivalent to half an hour - real time.
Women need other women’s disapproval more than they need men’s approval. If Miss A dislikes Miss B is wearing then Miss B knows she is looking good. This is one of the first things women do when they enter a party or a nightclub – size up the competition. Reason – we rate ourselves the way men do – on a scale of 1 to 10.
There is no right answer to the question – Do I look fat in this dress? Remember what I said earlier about lie detectors - leave the answering to her gay best friend like in Will and Grace. Somehow fairies have all the luck.
There are more colours in world other than – blue, grey and white and whatever the colour is – women will know its name. We know the difference between eggshell white, ecru white and off white and believe me they are all different colours.
Women don’t go to the powder room just to powder their noses but to also get the lowdown on the latest gossip in party i.e, whose husband is flirting with whose wife and to bitch about the food/décor/hostess take your pick.
Women need validation. Be it clothes, health, food, self-esteem, cosmetics or sex. And they need that validation from everyone. Women can’t stand it if one person in a crowd of 100 doesn’t like them. It annoys them like an ant annoys the elephant and till the ant is either befriended or crushed, the elephant cant be at peace.
Shoes are a woman’s reason to live. Buy her that beautiful pair of Manolo Blahniks and watch her pirouette with pride. I guess it makes us feel like Cinderella. And when Cinderella has the shoe and is happy – she makes sure the prince is happy as well, if you know what I mean *wink *wink *nudge *nudge.
For more in depth analysis of the female psyche join me - same place same space.
Women always have the last word in an argument, even when you think you had the last word listen to the deafening silence to understand that she did indeed have the last word.
To women, talking is like breathing. They are extremely bad secret keepers and need to share a secret you told them to just one more person who has been sworn to secrecy as well. So if Saddam wanted the world to know he had no WMD all he had to do was tell Mrs. Hussein and the chain would have reached Laura and then finally good ol’ Dubya would have known what the world already did.
Women are walking talking lie detectors; we can detect insincerity in thoughts, actions or gestures as well. We just pretend not to notice to avoid conflict.
Women need at least two hours to dress up for a two hour movie, even though they know its going to be dark in the theatre. Five minutes in a woman’s world is equivalent to half an hour - real time.
Women need other women’s disapproval more than they need men’s approval. If Miss A dislikes Miss B is wearing then Miss B knows she is looking good. This is one of the first things women do when they enter a party or a nightclub – size up the competition. Reason – we rate ourselves the way men do – on a scale of 1 to 10.
There is no right answer to the question – Do I look fat in this dress? Remember what I said earlier about lie detectors - leave the answering to her gay best friend like in Will and Grace. Somehow fairies have all the luck.
There are more colours in world other than – blue, grey and white and whatever the colour is – women will know its name. We know the difference between eggshell white, ecru white and off white and believe me they are all different colours.
Women don’t go to the powder room just to powder their noses but to also get the lowdown on the latest gossip in party i.e, whose husband is flirting with whose wife and to bitch about the food/décor/hostess take your pick.
Women need validation. Be it clothes, health, food, self-esteem, cosmetics or sex. And they need that validation from everyone. Women can’t stand it if one person in a crowd of 100 doesn’t like them. It annoys them like an ant annoys the elephant and till the ant is either befriended or crushed, the elephant cant be at peace.
Shoes are a woman’s reason to live. Buy her that beautiful pair of Manolo Blahniks and watch her pirouette with pride. I guess it makes us feel like Cinderella. And when Cinderella has the shoe and is happy – she makes sure the prince is happy as well, if you know what I mean *wink *wink *nudge *nudge.
For more in depth analysis of the female psyche join me - same place same space.
Have Toy – Will Play
Boys have their toys – electronic gadgets and PS2 and girls have their own – Toy boys. I must admit though I don’t have one of my own yet at the rate things are progressing I guess I will by the next decade or so. But the concept of toy boys fascinates me.
Maybe it has to do with seeing the hot older women like Demi Moore, 40, and Madonna, 45, happy with 25 year old Ashton Kutcher and 35 year old Guy Ritchie, respectively. But the phenomenon isn’t restricted to Hollywood or Wisteria Lane. It’s everywhere around us, even on this tiny island.
What is it that attracts older women to younger men and vice versa? Is it the promise of eternal youth when you drink from the fountain of life (pun unintended)?
Once single women hit the big 4-0, they are pretty happy with their lifestyles and seldom want a man their age or even older upsetting their well balanced apple cart. A younger man on the other hand will not only help managing the apple cart but might even make apple strudel out of it (if that’s what you want).
To a younger man, a relationship with an older woman is like his favourite fantasy come true. Most men have had a secret crush on their grade V teacher and this relationship, in some form, is a realisation of that fantasy. For them it’s a win - win situation. They get to hangout with their buddies, date other people, don’t have to splurge on dates to make a gesture, don’t have to wait for hours while their dates dress up and they also get experience in areas that might be important later on.
It’s a win - win situation for older women as well. They are well set in their ways by this age and the younger man doesn’t want to change that, they aren’t usually looking for something permanent and this suits both the parties just fine. They think your wrinkles are actually cute and are not afraid to venture into places men twice their age might think thrice about. And you gotta admit that well kept, tight, derriere has its advantages. Plus toy boys love washing your hair, massaging your feet, getting the dry cleaning sorted, taking out the garbage and love making dinner for you as well. And of course they can open tight jars and kill cockroaches to boot.
So if you are a successful, smart, single, slightly mature woman a good looking, eager to please, young man might be right up your alley- all you need to do is open your minds to the endless possibilities.
Maybe it has to do with seeing the hot older women like Demi Moore, 40, and Madonna, 45, happy with 25 year old Ashton Kutcher and 35 year old Guy Ritchie, respectively. But the phenomenon isn’t restricted to Hollywood or Wisteria Lane. It’s everywhere around us, even on this tiny island.
What is it that attracts older women to younger men and vice versa? Is it the promise of eternal youth when you drink from the fountain of life (pun unintended)?
Once single women hit the big 4-0, they are pretty happy with their lifestyles and seldom want a man their age or even older upsetting their well balanced apple cart. A younger man on the other hand will not only help managing the apple cart but might even make apple strudel out of it (if that’s what you want).
To a younger man, a relationship with an older woman is like his favourite fantasy come true. Most men have had a secret crush on their grade V teacher and this relationship, in some form, is a realisation of that fantasy. For them it’s a win - win situation. They get to hangout with their buddies, date other people, don’t have to splurge on dates to make a gesture, don’t have to wait for hours while their dates dress up and they also get experience in areas that might be important later on.
It’s a win - win situation for older women as well. They are well set in their ways by this age and the younger man doesn’t want to change that, they aren’t usually looking for something permanent and this suits both the parties just fine. They think your wrinkles are actually cute and are not afraid to venture into places men twice their age might think thrice about. And you gotta admit that well kept, tight, derriere has its advantages. Plus toy boys love washing your hair, massaging your feet, getting the dry cleaning sorted, taking out the garbage and love making dinner for you as well. And of course they can open tight jars and kill cockroaches to boot.
So if you are a successful, smart, single, slightly mature woman a good looking, eager to please, young man might be right up your alley- all you need to do is open your minds to the endless possibilities.
Why Men are Happier?
Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
Men can strip and roam in the middle of the road any day any time and no one will look and well so can women except no one will get any work done.
"God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference"
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? ~Linda Ellerbee
There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper. ~Camille Paglia
Men were made for war. Without it they wandered greyly about, getting under the feet of the women, who were trying to organize the really important things of life. ~Alice Thomas Ellis
Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships
Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. ~Roseanne Barr
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? ~Erma Bombeck
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. ~Oscar Wilde
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all of your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. Your belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. No wonder men are happier.
Men can strip and roam in the middle of the road any day any time and no one will look and well so can women except no one will get any work done.
"God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference"
If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a little noose around your neck? ~Linda Ellerbee
There is no female Mozart because there is no female Jack the Ripper. ~Camille Paglia
Men were made for war. Without it they wandered greyly about, getting under the feet of the women, who were trying to organize the really important things of life. ~Alice Thomas Ellis
Women may be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships
Men can read maps better than women. 'Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equaling a hundred miles. ~Roseanne Barr
What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? ~Erma Bombeck
A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction. ~Oscar Wilde
If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. ~Aristotle Onassis
Tips to Ace Your Second Date
So you have wangled that crucial second date which could break your single streak. This could be your ticket to coupledom so a little bit of preparation could come in handy. The first date has given you the bare essentials. You already have some idea about what kind of person he/she is, what he/she likes, now all you have to do is put that knowledge to good use. Here are ten tips to get you on your way:
Change the scenery.
If the venue of the date hasn’t been decided then try and pick a place both of you will enjoy. Your last date should have given you an idea of what he/she might like. Pick a place that has soft music where you get a chance to talk. If both of you like the outdoors pack a picnic lunch or if hiking is your thing, then go hiking. Try and avoid going for a movie. Movie doesn’t allow you to talk and you need to talk to see if this will work out for both of you.
Presentation.
No matter how delicious the dish, unless it is presented well it won’t have many takers. However crass that may sound, it is a truth to be faced. So make sure you are dressed appropriately. Take the venue in consideration: a tux may not be a good idea for a hike. Try and avoid flashy clothes and new shoes. Save that new halter-top and Manolo Blahniks for a special occasion. Dress like a smart sophisticated woman and you will be treated like one. Try and be comfortable and stylish at the same time.
Appropriate greeting.
So the last good night kiss was amazing, you did the whole 90 – 10 Hitch thing and it worked. But it’s a new day and what was okay then might be totally inappropriate now. Try a peck on the cheek rather than a full-blown smooch. Try not to linger in the other person’s personal space. It shows a lack of respect that is bound to cheese him/her off.
Concentrate on the conversation.
Most people look for meaningful conversations in a relationship. So it would be a good idea to concentrate on the conversation and discover a bit more about each other to see if a relationship would work. Compatibility is paramount when you are looking for more than just a quick roll in the hay. Talk about each other. Let him/her know a little more about you and learn a little more about them. The whole purpose of the second date is to move away from superficiality and dig deeper to find substance. While talking about yourself don’t over obsess your faults and don’t tom-tom your achievements – subtlety is the key.
Arrive relaxed and confident.
Your first date may have been a disaster but the fact that you got a second chance proves it might not have been all that bad. No point in over analysing what went wrong last time. Even if it was a perfect first date prepare for the second date before hand - take a long luxurious bath or a short nap. Arrive feeling relaxed and looking like a million bucks. A positive vibe will create positive energy and set the mood for the date.
Don’t open the eXbox.
Many a fledgling relationship has been ruined with the mention of the ex on the second date. You might have pent up anger and unresolved issues with the ex that you obsess over with your friends but it would be a good idea to wait a while before opening up the eXbox on your second date. It might portray you in an unflattering light - petty, mean, helpless, insecure, boring, nagging, and undesirable - take your pick. Save the eXfile for your shrink.
Compliment.
Most women can spot an insincere compliment from miles away so make sure if you are paying her a compliment it is genuine. Also try and avoid the clichéd ones. Pick a not so obvious trait that you like about her and use it for a compliment. Men prefer compliments about their actions rather than their looks. If he let an old lady cut in to the queue let him know you thought that was sweet. A compliment allows people to let down their guard. Appreciate the small quirks that make people unique. Wouldn’t you like the person who likes the way your smile lights up your eyes?
God lies in details.
Everyone likes talking about him or herself, that’s a subject that everyone has mastered. So remember something that your date told you about him/her self last time and start the conversation with that as your opener i.e. his high school basketball injury or her favourite movie.
Stay in the moment.
Even if you really like your date don’t start imagining the colour of the station wagon you are going to buy when you have kids, don’t even start naming the kids or hearing the wedding bells. It’s just the second date. For all you know he/she may be a psycho stalker. When you build castles in the air they are bound to come crashing down for the lack of a proper foundation. Don’t expect or introspect - stay in the moment and enjoy yourself.
Read the signs.
Body language is a language you need to master. If you are rambling on about a subject that doesn’t interest your date, their eyes may wander. Switch to a different topic to maintain the interest. If he/she leans in close or toys with his/her hair, fiddle with the keys, he/she is sending you a signal, it’s up to you to pick it up. Correct interpretation is almost like mind reading and can get you extra brownie points.
Two way street.
The date is not only about impressing someone else it is also about being impressed. If it becomes a one-way street, someone is bound to get hurt. Make sure that you aren’t doing all the work; allow your date to pitch in and then see if the sparks fly.
Be yourself.
Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. Don’t lie, if you don’t want to tell the truth don’t saying anything at all. “I’d rather not talk about it”, is a better option than lying. Don’t do or say anything you are not comfortable with and don’t play games. The best relationships are those in which you are yourself.
Good luck!
Change the scenery.
If the venue of the date hasn’t been decided then try and pick a place both of you will enjoy. Your last date should have given you an idea of what he/she might like. Pick a place that has soft music where you get a chance to talk. If both of you like the outdoors pack a picnic lunch or if hiking is your thing, then go hiking. Try and avoid going for a movie. Movie doesn’t allow you to talk and you need to talk to see if this will work out for both of you.
Presentation.
No matter how delicious the dish, unless it is presented well it won’t have many takers. However crass that may sound, it is a truth to be faced. So make sure you are dressed appropriately. Take the venue in consideration: a tux may not be a good idea for a hike. Try and avoid flashy clothes and new shoes. Save that new halter-top and Manolo Blahniks for a special occasion. Dress like a smart sophisticated woman and you will be treated like one. Try and be comfortable and stylish at the same time.
Appropriate greeting.
So the last good night kiss was amazing, you did the whole 90 – 10 Hitch thing and it worked. But it’s a new day and what was okay then might be totally inappropriate now. Try a peck on the cheek rather than a full-blown smooch. Try not to linger in the other person’s personal space. It shows a lack of respect that is bound to cheese him/her off.
Concentrate on the conversation.
Most people look for meaningful conversations in a relationship. So it would be a good idea to concentrate on the conversation and discover a bit more about each other to see if a relationship would work. Compatibility is paramount when you are looking for more than just a quick roll in the hay. Talk about each other. Let him/her know a little more about you and learn a little more about them. The whole purpose of the second date is to move away from superficiality and dig deeper to find substance. While talking about yourself don’t over obsess your faults and don’t tom-tom your achievements – subtlety is the key.
Arrive relaxed and confident.
Your first date may have been a disaster but the fact that you got a second chance proves it might not have been all that bad. No point in over analysing what went wrong last time. Even if it was a perfect first date prepare for the second date before hand - take a long luxurious bath or a short nap. Arrive feeling relaxed and looking like a million bucks. A positive vibe will create positive energy and set the mood for the date.
Don’t open the eXbox.
Many a fledgling relationship has been ruined with the mention of the ex on the second date. You might have pent up anger and unresolved issues with the ex that you obsess over with your friends but it would be a good idea to wait a while before opening up the eXbox on your second date. It might portray you in an unflattering light - petty, mean, helpless, insecure, boring, nagging, and undesirable - take your pick. Save the eXfile for your shrink.
Compliment.
Most women can spot an insincere compliment from miles away so make sure if you are paying her a compliment it is genuine. Also try and avoid the clichéd ones. Pick a not so obvious trait that you like about her and use it for a compliment. Men prefer compliments about their actions rather than their looks. If he let an old lady cut in to the queue let him know you thought that was sweet. A compliment allows people to let down their guard. Appreciate the small quirks that make people unique. Wouldn’t you like the person who likes the way your smile lights up your eyes?
God lies in details.
Everyone likes talking about him or herself, that’s a subject that everyone has mastered. So remember something that your date told you about him/her self last time and start the conversation with that as your opener i.e. his high school basketball injury or her favourite movie.
Stay in the moment.
Even if you really like your date don’t start imagining the colour of the station wagon you are going to buy when you have kids, don’t even start naming the kids or hearing the wedding bells. It’s just the second date. For all you know he/she may be a psycho stalker. When you build castles in the air they are bound to come crashing down for the lack of a proper foundation. Don’t expect or introspect - stay in the moment and enjoy yourself.
Read the signs.
Body language is a language you need to master. If you are rambling on about a subject that doesn’t interest your date, their eyes may wander. Switch to a different topic to maintain the interest. If he/she leans in close or toys with his/her hair, fiddle with the keys, he/she is sending you a signal, it’s up to you to pick it up. Correct interpretation is almost like mind reading and can get you extra brownie points.
Two way street.
The date is not only about impressing someone else it is also about being impressed. If it becomes a one-way street, someone is bound to get hurt. Make sure that you aren’t doing all the work; allow your date to pitch in and then see if the sparks fly.
Be yourself.
Don’t pretend to be someone you are not. Don’t lie, if you don’t want to tell the truth don’t saying anything at all. “I’d rather not talk about it”, is a better option than lying. Don’t do or say anything you are not comfortable with and don’t play games. The best relationships are those in which you are yourself.
Good luck!
Dating and Divorce - the truth
“With this ring I thee wed…
To have and to hold from this day forward,
for better,
for worse,
for richer,
for poorer,
in sickness,
and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death do us part.”
With this exchange of vows, a newly married couple enters a fresh phase in their lives. The twosome, who dated for a few years, has been looking forward to this day. They both have successful careers, magical personalities and a lot in common. They lived-in during weekends, had romantic dinners and enchanting holidays. They had a lot of fun while dating and decided to tie the knot since things couldn’t get any better.
But the beginning of the end starts almost as soon as the honeymoon is over. While one cribs about the lack of attention, the other feels stifled in the relationship. Soon trivial matters became major issues and the couple decides to split up, barely a year into the marriage. No, this is not some celebrity couple from the pages of the glossies. It’s one of the 50% marriages in America that end in divorce
In a world of instant gratifications, we have become extremely short fused. It doesn’t take much to destroy our perfectly orchestrated lifestyle. We have begun to rely on fast food, fast money and fast cars so much so that divorce seems to be a fast solution to any problem arising in a marriage. Marriages end for trivial reasons like not putting the toilet seat down or leaving the lid off the toothpaste.
In an effort to diagnose why so many people are getting divorced, we found the major culprit – Dating. With every generation, as the age of dating goes down, the number of divorces goes up. They share an inversely proportional relationship. Let’s see where things go wrong while a couple is dating:
The Wooing Phase:
The beginning of any romance is, for the lack of a better word, romantic. The late nights and constant phone calls. The chocolates, the roses. The champagne and expensive dinners. These things constantly validate the fact that the couple is in love. It’s an image created in our minds by the movie moguls. Hardly any one shows us what happens after the ever so perfect romance is traded in for holy matrimony. The younger the couple, the rosier their outlook towards the future. Once this image is complete in our mind we head towards phase two.
The get-to-know-each-other phase:
A couple of months into the relationship, the initial buzz has died down. The couple gets to know each other – their likes, dislikes, pet peeves etc. They still, however, put their best foot forward and continue to make the effort to be charming, funny and spend each waking moment with each other. While the snoring in the sleep, leaving dirty laundry around and possessiveness is termed as “cute” before, after marriage these very things are annoying and are very often, deal breakers as well.
The Let’s-get-married phase:
This is the rosiest period in the courtship. You think you know everything about each other and can’t wait to rush into matrimony. A woman has been planning her wedding since the day she was 12 and the man is the final piece of the puzzle. Most people do not take the time to stop and think about all the implications of being married. Footloose and fancy-free life ends here and a more responsibility-filled mature part of life begins.
And then people get married. Can’t get along. Fight. Nag. Get divorced.
They say love is blind but marriage is an eye opener. If you are careful and follow these tips during the dating phase, divorce can be avoided and dating can be the revelation, instead.
And then people get married. Can’t get along. Fight. Nag. Get divorced.
They say love is blind but marriage is an eye opener. If you are careful and follow these tips during the dating phase, divorce can be avoided and dating can be the revelation, instead.
Don’t be afraid of confrontation:
Most couples avoid getting into fights over issues that are dear to them, during the time they are dating. They only get a couple of hours to spend with each other so most people relent rather than upset the apple cart and get into a heated argument. Even if they are living together, after work most people just don’t have enough energy left to fight it out. Once the marriage vows are taken, the kid gloves come off and the small issues wind up being blown out of proportion.
Compatibility check:
A six-pack or a big rack isn’t a parameter for a compatibility check. Make sure you know each other’s future plans and that your goals are in line with each others. The number of kids you both want or if you wants kids at all, who is going to take care of them and where you want to live? Who trades in their coupe for a station wagon? If one of you gets a better job in another city, is the other one is willing to move? There is a whole lot you need to know, other than just his/her favorite color.
Nip it in the bud:
If there are issues like excessive drinking, random verbal/physical abuse, philandering, and disrespect for individuality which includes you not being able to see your friends without world war III erupting at home, these should be nipped in the bud. Have it out in one discussion, see if you can work around it or shelve the relationship altogether, depending on the issue. It is hard to change someone’s trend of thought or personality in a matter of months- but it’s not impossible.
Communicate:
One can’t stress this point enough. Whatever is on your mind make sure you talk it out with your partner. It is not just essential but crucial. Sometimes misunderstandings are created out of nothing, i.e. you get a new haircut and your partner doesn’t notice. You assume it’s because he doesn’t care enough but actually he has just found out that his boss plans to give him the boot. Communication clears the air and keeps a romance fresh.
In the end however, you need to realize that the best person to spend your life with is obviously the one with who you can be yourself. Your life-partner should be your best friend. The basic rule of friendship is exactly what applies to a strong and ever-lasting marriage. Base your marriage on a strong foundation and you can make sure that you will be together “till death does do you part”.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Look ma no strings!
A small step for Hawkings - a leap for the intellectual mind! it might have been stephen hawkings dream since his firs wheel chair to be no longer earth bound. to be as free to travel the atmosphere as his mind was free to travel the conplex cosmos. ceourage of conviction of this man is a testamant to the ability to achieve only if the dreams are big enough. Crippled at birth and condemned to die at 22- at 65 he floats on air! kudos!
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