Hope Vs. Grounded Reality

When you start to hope,
you are focusing again,
on the future.
Future that is mere speculation. So what are we actually doing is speculating...

To be grounded in reality
is what we believe we are doing
But we believe in our head to be reality
Isn't!
The beauty , the intelligence
in competence, the ugliness
the manipulation, the hatred
all al images of how we want ourselves to be

Sometimes our own photographs disappoint us
It's very different from what we see ourselves as ..
inour mind's eye but the point here also is,
a photograph cant capture the true essence of a person.
And i should know!
I look at a recent photograph
and see all that it didnt capture
the sadness in my eyes,
the pensiveness of the smile
the 'I can do this' and 'why am i here' in the raise of my brow.
It doesnt capture the freedom of my spirit.

It captures me in all my contriteness...
ok i know i kind of lost the message of this message somewhere along the line ... but there always a next time